Baked and delicious

Yup! I finally did it! I faked and baked! I realized that winter was around the corner, and having this pasty white skin just won't do! It's my job to be beautiful and how am supposed to do that with letche colored skin? {i can't}

check out the results!



I'm really impressed with the results. I think I might go back for one last cookin just so it'll look a little more real. I hear the more you do it, the more it looks natural.

So, this morning, I woke up feeling like P-diddy.
{just kidding}
No but really, I woke up this morning, did my daily morning stretch and scream, and then headed down stairs to see what the fridge had in store for me. When I got down there, and opened the fridge, I realized something.

I didn't want breakfast food.

What idiot came up with the rule that breakfast foods had to be eated for "breakfast." Certainly not me! Maybe Obama.. yea that'd make sense. But anywhoo, I decided that I was an independent women with her own strut and that I would in fact, have ... (drum roll)

Lays BAKED Chips and Minute Maid Lemonade

FOR BREAKFAST!

Some of you might be thinking to yourself, "What a fatty! That is so unhealthy!!"
Well, lettme tell you something smarty pants! Those chips were baked, which means, me eating 60 of this chips would be equivalent to me eating an apple and going for 30mile jog. No harm done
AS for the lemonade. It's made with real flippin lemons yall! Along with that, there is modified cornstarch all up in there! Not sure what that is, but it's got corn in the prefix so what could go wrong?

Just kidding. Todays fast sunday! Gotcha!

Well, I'm leaving on the trek tomorrow. A 100 mile hike in below 20 degree weather with only your body hair for warmth, and your own saliva and dandruff for meals. It should be fun!

I finally found my homecoming dress. It looks a little something like this.







Yeah, I'd like to see Josh resist me wearing this!






Have a marvelous morning & I'll be back just in time for Witty Wednesday next week! I'm sure I'll have PLENTY of stories.

Tootles for yours truly,
Ashquhnika

Announcment time

Dear World and those who live on it,

Hi, I'm Ashlynn McCarter, and this is my blog. I never really realized that people read my blog, which I found out could be extremely awkward and a bad way to make a first impression, but I feel the need to state something.

Yes I'm weird. Really weird. I'll be honest, I don't even know what I say half the time... so please don't take me too serious when I say this stuff.

I apologize for the astonishing weird images and thoughts I've stained in your head.

I can promise you that it was on purpose.

Cause it's just waaayyy too much fun!

Love,
Ashtashers.

Spring Water

Man on oh MAN was the weather just grand today! Back home (in Tennessee) the weather was like this almost EVERY DAY! I come here and it's like "Oh, well hello. Would you prefer 109 or 110 degrees in October?"

dumb.

I keep having awful dreams...
they're awful...

I'm pretty sure I am going to buzz my head tonight.
no biggys.

Dogs=dogs
cats=anteaters.

Today in AP, and kid in my class chose to enlighten me with a fun fact per say! He told me he witnesed a cow giving birth to a cat.
& that it was loud.

gross.
gross times 10.

or yummy. Haven't decided yet.

I'm talking to Chris Bruce as we speak.
he is darling.

love,
ashlynn

p.s. I decided
p.s.s. it's yummy.

Bananas

My mom is eating a banana. Man does it look good.

real. good.

Bonjour! Ca va?

That's right! I can speak French! Legitimate French people! Why don't you ask me how to say darn in french? Come on, just ask me

(insert your name): Ashlynn how do you say darn it in French?
Ashlynn: AH, how kind of you to ask! The phrase "darn it" in French is pronounced, ZUT!
(insert your name): Oh Ashlynn, you're so cool. I wish I could speak French like you.
Ashlynn: Oh stop it! It's easy and fun! Anyone can do it with the right mind set! You may not be able to speak as fluently as me, but, yeah no you can't. I hear Spanish has an opening though!
(insert your name:): I wish I was cool like you.

See just like that! Boda-bang-bada-BOOM! So don't ever be afraid to throw around some french with me,

cause flippin bi-lingual.

Moving on.

Who loves conference? (I do) Those men are just so darling! I just wanna grab their cheeks and tell em how I love em! What spiritual cuties..
(no creeper statue intended)

Wanna know what's the best part of conference? The yummy breakfast before the first session. Yes, I don't know about your Mommy's but mine cooks this delicious feast for the Sunday sessions! Take a look.
Now, obviously this doesn't do much justice for the meal, but just picture hash browns, bacon, chocolate milk and fruit to go along with those cottage-cheese pancakes. YES, YOU HEARD ME, COTTAGE CHEESE PANCAKES YALL! The recipe was created and perfected by God himself. Anything that heavenly, just has to!

They were so yummy in my tummy. I haven't eaten since! It was so filling.

{confession time: Those last two sentences were a lie. That was me trying to sound more skinny. Like you know the people who can eat one meal and be fine all day? Yeah, okay not me. But it sure was good)

Oh, and the Books of Mormon in the back were just for spiritual emphasis. Therefore, cottage pancakes are of god.

Man, I have a whole book to read by Tuesday, and I've only read the Prologue. Who's lookin for some extra cash?

This retainer is just a haven of saliva. It's absolutely revolting.

Trek is 2 weeks. yay.

Who's interested in some recreational food eating contests? I hear they're real fun! And with me on your team, there is no losing.

I really gotta stop with the fat jokes.
{they just make me look fatter}

Except my mom hates when I say stuff like that cause she says I'm pretty and skinny. But I know her heart is yearning to just call me Hagrid.

Sometimes she says I'm "thick boned" but we all know that's a lie.

I <3 Obama. The tone of his voice is so inspirational! He makes me to want destroy a country or something!

Love,
Ashbamers.

P.S. Looking for your dog to get off him bum and learn some tricks? I found just the solution! Everyday, replace his water with olive oil and within a week, your dog will be flippin like eggs on a stove! I've seen the results, why don't you give it a try!

I'm sorry

{insert "me clearing throat" here}

I, Ashlynn McCarter, would like to formally apologize for my inexcusable behavior involving me, and my blog these past months. I realize I have not blogged since May, but you know what they say about October! "There is no better time of the year to blog, than October." Saying that, I will now make it a point to blog at least once a week! Or month! Whatever comes first!

amen.

Anywhoo! Life.is.great!
*Consider the following*

1) I have a hott date for Homecoming!


Ladies&Gentlemen, say hello to Joshua Marc Menden, my hott date. Yup ladies, Ashlynn's got a date with a true-blue scripture master-er! Can it get any better than that? {no} But if you're wondering how he asked me(darling of him), I'm not going to tell you! Just because I could save some finger strength and by just having you look it up on THE YOUTUBE! Yup, it's on there.(thanks to whoever put that on there?)
For those who can't access THE YOUTUBE, he asked me to Homecoming bbyy......(drum roll)asking me in front of practically the entire school! We were hosting the talent show, when all of sudden, out of no where, OUT OF THE BLUE, he asked me to homecoming. *plus a poem he read &&& plus a dozen roses*
Now picture this next line in a really high pitched sassy tone.
"BEE JEALLOUSSS!!"
:)

2)Student Council is kickin my bum bum

I guess you can say I'm kinda, sorta, just a little bit STRESSED! I have this OCD to kinda do everything perfect, especially when it comes to student council events. But what's wrong with that? {nothing} One thing I'm in charge of, (along with Miss Hailey Archibald, Lou-lou Priday, and Mister CamRONSTER) is the upcoming

HAUNTED CARNIVAL & BONFIRE
HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL B-BALL COURTS
6-9 PM

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE! It's going to be a gay old time! Fun galore! Famous people like Brittney Spears and P-diddy will be there! {not really} SO BE THERE!

3) The new me

My braces are off=good
My hair is blonde again=goooodd
I lost 25 pounds=lie

4)I started P90X!

As you can tell, the results are really starting to show.
It's crazy! It's only been 30 days and I'm RIPPED! I can't wait to see the results in 90 days! I know I'll get a boyfriend then..




5) I'm flippin sleepy.

So, I need to get some sleep. Some hardcore sleep. No less than 23 hours. Anything below that will just be a bad way to start off my week. Blach.


Tomorrow. Expect the funniest blog post of your life tomorrow. It'll be ridiculous fun!

Alright, so tomorrow?
Yes tomorrow!

Gnight.
Texting language is for the cool kids.
so l8ter.
g8ter.
<3 U all!

Let it all begin.

Yup. I'm an unfaithful blogger. In the beginning, blogging seemed like a daily task that needed to be done, but then slowly but surely I just lost interest. Felt as if I wasn't good enough for my blog, that my life wasn't interesting enough to proclaimed to the world. Then I had a realization. I looked in the mirror and what I saw was worth blogging about. How could I have been so blind? I mean who wouldn't want to hear about the life of this beautful face?Exactly, no one. Anywhoo. On to my life. I am now Junior Class President, which means I have control of everything, everyone, and every decison made by anyone in my school. It's kinda like a dictator but better. Friday for instance, some kid thought it'd be "funny" to disrespect me like he did, and so I did, unfortunetly, cast him to the dungeons. He recieves two meals a week and is allowed a rock for a pillow and his only body hair for warmth. I try to keep it as comfortable as possible. No but seriously, Junior Dictator, I'm in charge of prom and I'm super phyced! Got some great ideas and I love that fact I'm working with my bffl, Haliey Marie Archibald (aka. Junior class Co-Dictator) on it. It should be pretty dang sick. So watch out fools! What else is new? Hmm.. I've succesfully ate a taco bell taco without throwing up, doesn't mean I'll do it again, but I can say that I've tried to forgive their poor sanatation policy. I went to Special Ed. Prom, which was a total blast! They are no doubt the sweetest people to walk this earth, and I now know exactly why they have a spots already reserved in heaven with God, because they are little angels. Seriously pulls my heart strings! Also, I have a little bit of spice in my life, if you might say. No need to blog about it or anything. But it's definitely something, OR could be something. :) But I that's enough for now, and I'll finish whatever else I got later.

OH WAIT> I just got a brand new phone. The droid (Rakeesha, that's her name) and she is absolutely PRECIOUS! Everything about her just screams me. Gosh dang I just wanna grab her little keyboard! So. dang. cute.

Scram sam.

<3 Ashlynn

Jk that's pretty gay

Ashlynn

That's better.

Series of Unfortunate Events

Where shall I begin? Blech. First off, I'm deeply sorry for not updating my blog earlier. It's been a crazy week and to be honest nothing quite terribly exciting, but I'll try my best to entertain in my mourning and boredom. (Yes Chris, I would like a spelling tutor. Tuesdays work for me) Okay so Thursday was an interesting day. For the first time in my driving career I got plain out lost. I literally had no idea where I was. And the worst part was that it was only in a neighborhood. I couldn't find the house and then I couldn't find my way out. It reminded me of the ole days where me Hailey, Adam, Sterling, and some other chicks went to the corn maze, where I indeed peed my pants because of the complete utter darkness, the constant feeling of Adam or Sterling popping out of the corn, but the utter loneliness and all loss of my sense of direction. Okay I'm tired of typing and I can't think of anything funny. I'll come back after a nap and finish this up. Until then, Orofva? Haha Chris call me asap about the tutoring.

Goodnight

It hurts

Today. What is today? Better yet. What's tomorrow? How do we know tomorrow is actually tomorrow? 24 hours a day? We know that how? There could 119 for I know. Just cause the sun comes up and comes down doesnt mean it was a "day". How exactly does the sun "go down"? Doesn't stay in the same spot?

Just some thoughts.

Today is interesting. Found myself extremly ticked off most of it, and laughing the rest. I cleaned my fish bowl today. I got a papercut on my eye while trying to be cool when flipping over my paper. I sniffed a bandana. I told my teacher I blogged about him. I announced in math that I thought a kid was cute. I fell down the stairs. I sung little mermaid on my way down! I accidently released my spit valve on my french horn on my partner. I drooled on my desk.

What did I not do today?

Oh I told Hailey and Courtney I'd blog about them.

There ya go.

Homework.

I might blog later.. knowing me.

Get lost!

Oh and two things..

1. Mother of Cheez-its. It amazes me how they pact that much deliciousness into that huge single square. It's call the BIG Cheezits. PRetty catchy. But I'm in love. They're my new friends!

2. I'm sittin here mindin my own bussiness when some dang mesquito has the guts to land on my toe and start suckin my blood like he was some kindof vampire? I think not. I told that thing off and then smashed it with every ounce of my fury. Ridiculous. I feel extremly violated.

Oh. P.S. Vampire Diares in 4 days! Oh heck. Bring on the vamps!

Make sure to read my earlier post below!

Have a Ashtastical day!

All I wanted

It was strange. All day long every moment, every word, every touch, I felt as if I should blog it. As ridiculous as it may sound, I think I'm addicted. I was thinking of funny one liners all day to start off my blog and things to keep you entertained. And to be frank... I think I did a pretty dang good job. Enjoyo! (Enjoy in spanish for those who may not be as skilled as I am in the tounge)

So I met this beautifull person today. It was myself! I found myself looking in the mirror for what seemed like hours mesmerized by the absoulte beauty of my facial features. So percise. So even. It seemed to be chizzled by an angel. An angel that defintaly has an eye for sexiness. I think to myself.. how can anyone be that beautifull? It must be a sin! A beautifull sin...

Yaya. Reality kicked in. Got myself some blemishes, big ace lips, and eyelashes that remind me of dead spider legs. But hey it's good! Better yet. It's Sonic good.

Today was horrible. I found myself speaking out of turn and falling into a fantasy land constantly. I was something that people might call a "disturbance". Eh no big deal. I'm something you might also call a "teachers pet". Meaning I could kill someone in the classroom and that teacher would still clean my feet with his or her tears. It's not the proudest area of my life, but it sure is brilliant!

Why must I have a bladder? Why must I? Better yet. Why must Mr. Milddletin believe that telling children that they are only allowed to relieve themselves 3 times a SEMESTER is even morally right? It makes me sick. As the clock was slowly moving, I found myself in PAIN because I had to go so bad. Too bad I've already used up my passes, so he tells me no. NO? NO? That's like telling me "No, Ashlynn you cannot have milk with your cookies!" I mean come on! I notified him after class that he was indeed going to pay for my medical bill if I had indeed burst or damaged any organs in my body. So what did I learn in chemistry today you might ask? Well I learned that holding your bodly functions in for too long makes you extremly irraitable.

Wanna know what's worse than half of a hamburger? A fourth of a hamburger. Which my mother feels is perfectly fine for an after school snack. I was forced to share the other quarter with my beloved blood. (Bre) My mother then offered to let me have some of her chicken before quickly saying she was only kidding. I don't get it? I mean she's only fed me once this week! She promised me Saturday night that she would never make me only have canned yams for dinner ever again, but no. Last night comes rolling around and she tells me to live off my own saliva. I can tell I'll be sleeping in the dungeons tonight...

Oh and for those of you that came back tan from spring break! I have a few words! First beginning with LOSER! I hope you know that this has decreased your life span by at least 10 years. I hope you're happy with SKIN CANCER you dang tanneys. My daddy says I look like a princess in my pasty white skin and that it makes me eyes pop! So the next time you look yourself in the mirror I hope that you feel envious over my beatifull skin. Like I said... It was chizzled by an angel.

Lata Gata.

It's California Time!

I was completly RELEVIED to hear I was taking a trip to good ole' California. It defintally was a much needed break and I had a total blast! The stories and inside jokes are endless! And if you know me very well, you know that my memory is like a baby. So you better tell me something at least 4 times if you want me to remember it the next day (or even within the next 20 minutes). Anyways.. I'm hoping that this lovely blog will not only keep those memories going BUT also justify the fact that I'm horrible at keeping a journal. I get hand cramps! ;) True story. \

First story...




My stud of a sister, Breanna, won her entire tournament while in Cali. (Not suprising?) It was a really crappy tournament with the games on baseball fields at a really run down school. Nonetheless, they endured and slaughtered. When I mean slaughtered. I mean slaughtered. Like 22-0 slaughtered. It was ridiculous. This team was litteraly just playing tag out on the field and seeing who could stay the FARTHEST away from the ball. I just about went up to coach and asked him to put me in. I think I would've been a God out on the field against them. Well, I like to think that I would be. :) But when it came down to the last game it was a tough game and they started off down by two. Didn't think they'd pull themselfs out, but little did I know they were pissed at half time and came out scoring 4 goals in the second half and winning not only the game, but the tournament. Overall performance= 4 total games, Won 3 of them, and tied the other. Like I said. MY sister is a stud ;)

In the moments where we were sitting around waiting for the games to start me and dearest love, my eternal soulmate, my sister, and straight up BFFL, Hailey Maire Archibald, found the crappy baseball fields worthy of a PERFECT photoshoot! Yes, we were actually taking pictures of ourselves for once. MEANING we actually got ready. It was a utter miracle. But check em out.

Classy eh?

Let's move on shall we.

Story numba twa...

After we finished our soccer intake, and it was defintally relieving to finish the trip knowing that Bre would be completly satisfied from her soccer tournament. Nope, in comes nature and gets her sick. So we had to move a little slow at times, but nonetheless, was still a blast! The bed situation was killer. 3 girls and one boy, and only 2 beds! Oh wait and the FLOOR! The digusting dieseased filled floor. Ended up sleeping on it twice. Because I'm a freaking warrior and willing to endure whatever the opposition has in store for me. Hotel was super duper fun! But the absoulte best part was the greeting of warm, delicious, moist, chocolate chip cookies from the gorgeous skin woman at the counter. Everytime I walked through that door, I could feel the love radiating from that single cookie. And if that wasn't good enough I got free water bottles, AND my dad seemed to work out a lovely deal to get us free breakfeast the whole trip. He claims he just showed his muscles. I think he paid her. We'll never know will we? :) But moving on. Swap meet. Disturbing memories which I'm choosing to forget for my poor minds sake. The churros were magnicifent, and the chips and salsa were to die for. But the feeling of complete and utter disolation and minority was priceless. I have two pictures that should sum that two hours up.

Please guys. Don't touch my sister.

STORY THREE:

Disneyland. OF COURSE! And everything that comes with it. Overpriced everything, rides that blow your mind, feet that are about to fall off, and of course, the overall happiness, that at times, is extremly overwhelming. Haha welcome to Disneyland would you like 10 dollar turkey leg or a 30 dollar shirt with a picture of yourself about to throw up? Ridiculous. Nahh it was supper fun! Ran into some friends. My love Chris Bruce, and darling Carson Gooch. It was a party for sure. With Chris's witty comments, Hailey's overcoming roller coasters (thanks to me thank you very much!) and Carson's not-so-humorous comments about Chris flopping over at any minute and dieing. Ranging from choking on a stick (after which being stuck down his throat by HER hand), or the ever so popular falling off a roller coaster. They're in love. Be expecting a wedding invite! ;) Stayed there all day and all night and defintally got my intake for the rest of the my childhood I think. Which is soon ending I'm afraid. Kodak moments are appropriate I imagine.

People really outta stop being so dang happy...

**More pictures on facebook. Takes frakin forever to get these dang pictures on here**

Lets wrap this up hoozers.

Four the Boar

Favorite part of course... The beach. Nothing like people hammering nails into their heads, and those who really should just leave there shirts on. Gag. But the burgers on the beach were heavenly and weather so divine. I loved every moment of it. Including the sunburn part. (sorry mom) I totally got ripped off and store for an adorable shirt and ended up giving it to Hailey cause it didn't fit. Dang skinny people. But had iHop on the beach ( yes you heard me) and ended up drooling in iHop because my mom made me laugh so hard. I can say I left my mark. With my bacteria. Got some great pictures and wounds. Poor me and Hailey got slammed with the terrible force of a mixture of salt water and shells. Dang beach. We rented beach cruisers and after 15 mintues we got the hang of the two seaters. A trial for sure. We were the laughing stock of the beach. Got ourselves a few numbers though, if you know what I mean! :) Well in our heads we did. Overall the trip was great and so good to get away from Gilbert. The fact that I have to wake up tomorrow and go to school is litterally making me sick. But like I said I'm a warrior..

May the force be with you...

Here I am

This moment is surely overdue, but never too late. I got myself a blog and now can be considered a member of society. Although the website is poorly organized, and to be honest, quite confussing, I've seemed to work my way around it and hope to be able to create a blog that is step into the fairytale of the Ashlynn World. You ready?